Garn Returns Home

Gral the Stalwart knocked on the door to the apartment that his friend kept at the Intergalactic Council Headquarters.  At first, there was no answer, so he knocked again.

“Go away!”  Garn called.  “No one’s home.”

Gral sighed.  “My ears tell me differently, my friend.  Open the door.  You’ve been back for days and you’ve moped enough.”

There was a beat of silence, and the door slid opened.  Gral stepped in and sighed when he saw the mounds of dirty dishes and half-empty bags of Earth junk food.

“Well, I see your last trip off planet hasn’t improved your house keeping skills.”

Garn dusted fine, cheesy orange crumbs off of his shirt.  “I have more important things to do.  I’ve been compiling my adventures on Earth into a memoir.  It’ll be a best-seller, I tell you.”

Gral rolled his eyes.  “We get the news feeds, too.  Why would we need to read your diaries?”

“They’re memoirs.”  Garn corrected him.  “The news feeds are not genuine first-person accounts!  They’re boring.”

“But they’re factual.”

“So are mine.”  Garn huffed.  “Here, read this,” he said, thrusting a sheaf of papers into Gral’s hands.

“So, you have witnessed Earth gladiator games?”  Gral asked after he’d finished reading.

“Yes – a most fearsome competition known as the Superbowl.  Two opposing factions battle each other on a large green field for glory. “

“Sounds quite bloodthirsty.”  Gral commented.

“Oh, it is!  Earth people celebrate by watching it on the viewing screen and eating copious amounts of snack foods.”

“Hmm.  Most curious.  And it says here that you were subjected to strange medical experiments.”

“Yes.  I received the Ko-VID vaccine.”  Garn said proudly.  “Earth’s medical system is primitive, but the competition for the vaccine was exhilarating.”

“And you witnessed an armed insurrection?”  Gral asked incredulously.

“Yes, that.  Some did not like the outcome of a recent election.  Carol was very sad.”

“Well, you must be very happy to be home then.  It’s sounds quite trying!”

“Not really,” Garn said mournfully.  “I’m almost out of Cheetos and Doritos!”

Happy Thursday, Friends!



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