Carol was preparing to watch the big game when there was a knock on her door. She peered cautiously through the peephole and even more cautiously opened her door.
“Garn! What a surprise!”
Garn held out the large paper sack he was carrying. “Greetings, Carol! I am here to take part in the annual Earth ritual you mentioned the other day.”
“Uh, sure. Which ritual would that be?”
“The annual gladiatorial contest of course – the one that involves football.”
“Oh… you mean the Super Bowl.” She peered into the bag. “And you brought chips and beer.”
Garn puffed out his chest. “Of course. My research indicates that these are the traditional offerings for such an event,” he said as he stepped closer to the door. “But you’ll have to explain to me how you transmit such items to the football gods. Through the TV?”
“Uh… we don’t really do that, but you’re right, people do like to have beer and lots of junk food while watching the game.”
“We get to eat the offerings?” Garn asked excitedly. “Even better. When do we start?”
Carol sighed. “They’re not offerings. But come on in. The game’s about to start any minute.”
A few minutes later, Carol was regretting opening her home. “No, I don’t know why they use a ball instead of space lasers or swords,” she said with a sigh.
“Well, it would make the game more exciting.” Garn argued.
“But a lot more lethal. Wouldn’t it be hard to keep the teams full then?”
“Well, I suppose so,” Garn said as he popped another chip into his mouth. “But I still think having mounted players and lasers would be more exciting.”
“Uh, I guess you can always send suggestions into the NFL,” Carol said absently.
“Excellent! I’ll do so!” Garn was silent for several more minutes as he watched the screen intently. “What is that rule about fourth downs again?”
Carol sighed again and tried to explain.
“I still don’t get it.”
“To be honest neither do I.” Carol admitted. “I mostly watch the Super Bowl for commercials.”
“Really? Those little advertisements that we usually fast forward through?”
“Yes, but these are special commercials,” Carol explained. “Look, I’ll give you my chocolate cake if you just sit through the next few minutes – quietly.”
And that’s how Carol didn’t get dessert on Super Bowl Sunday.