Garn Helps Carol

Garn the Magnificent was feeling a little guilty about his last ‘link call with his good friend Carol, so he connected to Earth’s communication system and placed the call.

The ‘link rang for almost a minute before she finally picked up.  “Hey Garn.  What’s up?”  Carol asked distractedly.

“Carol!  Where is your party hat?”  He exclaimed.

“Huh?”  She looked up from her task.  “Oh – that was only for New Year’s Eve.”

“Hmmm.  So, you humans have specific costumes for each holiday.  Most curious.”  He watched her scribble on a piece of paper for several more moments.  “Carol my dear – what is it that you are working on so intently?   Surely not another book so soon?”

“Oh, no.  I’m working on my New Year’s resolutions!”

Garn blinked.  “Your what?  Your video quality is just fine.”

“Not that kind of resolution.”  Carol giggled.  “You know – a list of goals for the coming year.”

“What an interesting idea.   Do all humans take part in this ritual?”

“I think a lot of people do – though from Instagram and Facebook, I think they often break them pretty quickly.”

“Well, I wish you every success with your endeavor!”  Garn said heartily.

“Thanks – in fact, that’s my first resolution.  “Don’t give up – keep every resolution!”

“Most prudent.  How many of these resolutions do you have?”

“Uh… One?”  Carol said tentatively.

“Hmm.   I’m not sure that’s enough.  Didn’t you say resolutions – as in multiple goals?”

“Yeah… it’s a problem.  But I just don’t know what to write.”

“Never fear – I will help you!”  Garn said cheerily as he picked up his tablet.  “In fact, I will join you in this Earth custom by making a few goals of my own.”

“Uh sure – sounds good.”  Carol said tentatively.

They were both silent for several moments.  “Uh – how does one start this curious ritual?”  Garn asked.

“That’s the problem – I’m not sure.”  Carol frowned.  “I was looking online and usually it’s things like losing weight or learning an instrument.  Not sure I want to do either of those.”

“I should think not!”  Garn said, aghast.  “Why would anyone purposely stop eating when there is so much tasty food in the Galaxy.  Did I tell you about the wonderful stink venom tart I had the other day?  It burned a little going down, but oh so satisfying.”

“Uh – sounds great.”  Carol suddenly brightened.   “That’s an idea!”

“What – cooking with stink venom?  I suppose I could share some recipes with you…”

“Oh no!  I couldn’t impose like that.”  Carol said quickly as she began to write furiously.  “But I think I will try some new recipes.”

“Capital!  I’ll have to come to dinner more often.”

Carol and Garn worked on their lists for the rest of the afternoon.  Here are the happy results.


  1. I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
  2. Learn the Earth bagpipes. They’re such a lively instrument and my neighbors deserve a little joy.
  3. Try to avoid further missions to the Volcano on Yargon-IV. They’re hard on my footwear.
  4. Rediscover the difference between wants and needs.  May I have all I need and want all I have.


  1. Don’t give up – keep every resolution.
  2. Try a new recipe every week – rediscover the power of butter.
  3. Exercise 6 days per week – see resolution number 2.
  4. Do not learn an instrument. The neighbors will thank me.
  5. Say something nice to someone at least once a day.

In that vein – wishing you a happy, healthy, and joyful New Year.

1 Comment

  1. Larry

    That’s a nice story. Thank you. Please consider avoiding new recipes that involve stink venom tarts…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.