Garn Avoid the News

Garn the Magnificent set aside his pen, brushed the Cheeto dust from his clothing and surveyed his progress with great satisfaction.  For over a week, he had been engaged in a most heroic effort.  – one that required keen intelligence, wit, and enormous strength of will.

As a combatant, er contestant, in Earth’s Nanowrimo, Garn had selflessly forgone work and fresh vegetables in order to closet himself in his home.  Armed only with his trusty pen and economy-sized bags of Earth snack food, he had set out with a singular goal:  to write the next great American novel in 30 days.

“Ah!  Just look at this!”  He beamed as he considered his work – which consisted of three somewhat tattered, Cheeto-stained notebooks.  “And there’s more to come!”  He chortled.

“I really must thank Carol for telling me about this contest,” he mused as he updated his daily word count on the NaNoWriMo website.

“Hmmm, I wonder how she’s doing?”  Garn clicked on the ‘Buddies’ tab on his profile and selected his sometimes-good friend’s name.  To his shock, her word count had barely moved in several days.

“But Carol is so dedicated and dependable.  What could possibly be wrong?”  Worried, he picked up his com-link, and after deleting several irate messages from his employer, typed in the code that would allow him to access Earth’s communication system.

The ‘link rang several times before she answered.  “Lords of Chaos!”  Garn shouted as he took in her pale, hollow-eyed appearance.  “You look like you haven’t slept in days.  What’s wrong?”

Carol sighed.  “Check out the newsfeed, and you’ll see.”

Perplexed, Garn hung up and typed the address for one of Earth’s largest media outlets into his com-link.  “Ah – I forgot the US elections were last week.”  He said as thousands of headlines scrolled past on his screen.  Curious, he clicked on first one link, then another.  After several minutes of reading the latest news from Earth, Garn’s head was spinning.

“Now I can see why Carol was so frazzled,” he murmured.  And then, because he was quite a wise fellow, Garn deleted his browser history, shut down his ‘link and returned to writing.

Happy Thursday, friends!


  1. Jean+De+Muzio

    You got to watch out for those news feeds. They’ll get you every time. Just think of them as passing clouds. Hope your writing is going as smoothly as Garn’s. Thanks for the blog!

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