Garn Talks About Earth – Again

Garn the Magnificent sat in Councilman Unda’s private audience chamber for what felt like the hundredth time.

“We must really do something about this Earth problem!”  The large politician sputtered.

“What problem is that?” Garn asked.

“This pandemic they are having, of course!”

“Well, many governments are taking measures for containing COVID-19 and there are many treatments in development.”

“Don’t be daft, Ma! I don’t care about that!  The snack food exports from Earth are reaching a critical low.  Something must be done,” he repeated.

“Wait a minute – you are worried about your Cheetos supply?  You are aware that a million people have died?”

“There’s much more at stake.  I haven’t had a Reece’s cup in almost a month.”

Garn sighed.  “Manufacturing plants are reopening.  I’m sure the Earth governments will start exporting more snack foods soon.”

“I suppose that will have to do,” the Councilman sighed.  “So, what are they doing to stop this contagion?”

“Well, there are at least nine vaccines in development right now, though the United States Food and Drug Administration wants at least two more months of safety data on the top candidates before they can authorize emergency use.”

“Hmm – why don’t they just program everyone’s personal med-computer to produce broad-spectrum antiviral and be done with it?”

Garn sighed.  “They don’t have that technology yet.  Someone didn’t approve of giving such advanced knowledge to a relatively primitive society.”

“Oh right.”  The Councilman sighed.  “That might not have been my best decision.  Could just pick me up some snacks next time you’re on Earth?”

Happy Thursday, Friends!

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