Garn Sews Masks

“You really are a slave-driver,” Garn the Magnificent groused to his friend Carol.  “I am quite fond of you, but you should really learn to relax and smell some of your roses.”

“I promised the community center I’d finish 50 masks by this week.”  Carol looked up from her machine for sewing.  “Besides we both know what happens when you’re left to your own devices, so keep cutting fabric, buddy.”

Garn sighed and began to carefully cut strips of cloth.  “I apologized about the sand in your living room…”

“Don’t forget the pool you tried to build in the spare room, either.”

“Yes, yes,” he sighed.  “And I assisted you in the clean-up, though it would have been faster if we’d done it my way.”

“True, but if I’d let you vaporize the mess with your laser gun, I wouldn’t have a living room right now.”  She finished anchoring the final ear loop onto the material and held up her handiwork.  “What do you think?”

“It’s a little… floral.” Garn squinted at the tiny pink flowers printed on the material. “Are you sure that is fashionable.”

She picked up another bundle of cloth that Garn had prepared and began to assemble yet another mask.  “Well, one store donated a whole bunch of sheets to the group.  Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“I do not understand this phrase of yours.  On my planet, licensed beggars can choose from the offerings given for that purpose.  Why force gros-nak meat upon someone who only eats vegetables?”

“That actually sounds like…a good idea.”  Carol grinned impishly.  “And maybe the sanest thing that’s come out of your mouth all week.”

“Cheeky Earthling.” Garn playfully threw a wadded-up piece of cloth in her direction. “Still – why do we need so many masks?”

“Well, we don’t, but the community center is handing out masks to anyone who needs them – to encourage social distancing.”

“Hmmm – I suppose that is one way to prevent contagion.”

“Well – mask wearing, and social distancing are the best measures we have right now?”  She cocked her head to one side.  “What do people do on other planets?”

“Well – many beings – like myself- have extremely hardy immune systems – so infections aren’t a problem.”

“Hmmm… must be nice.”

“Though, there are some that are less fortunate – like the Thwill of Talos VII – even a case of the sniffles is deadly to those poor souls.”

“Oh no!  That’s terrible!”

“However, their engineers came up with an ingenious solution.  Each Thwill is given a force-field generator – guaranteed to zap any virus in the air around them.”

“Interesting.  Does it work?”

“Ah, yes.  Sometimes too well,” he mused.  “There’s a saying – don’t kiss a Thwill, because it’s the last thing you might do.”

Happy Thursday, Friends.  Stay safe (and away from bug zappers)!


  1. Jean De Muzio

    Thanks, Carol! Very entertaining as usual.

  2. Larry

    I’m glad the Mrs. isn’t a Thwill

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