Garn Gets a Quarantine Haircut

“I still don’t know why I keep coming back to this cursed planet,” Garn the magnificent groused as his friend Carol settled a bath towel around his shoulders.

“This is what, your fourth trip here in the last couple of months? We must be growing on you,” she quipped.

“Like a Tellurian fungus,” he sputtered as she spritzed down his hair. “This last stay was completely unintentional.” He’d been on his way to a beach vacation on the paradise planet Can-Kuhn IV and had Ill-advisedly decided to take a short cut through Earth’s interplanetary portal system. It was his bad luck that the Alliance had decided to shut down all travel to and from Earth. At. That. Exact. Moment.

“Cursed contagion.”

“Tell me about it.” Carol sighed as she finished clipping his hair into sections. “I feel like we’ve been in quarantine forever,” she said as she produced a pair of scissors and began to snip at random tufts of hair.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Garn cringed when the scissors almost nicked one of his rather handsome, pointed green ears.

“You’re the one who wanted a haircut.”

“Yes, but at one of your salons or barbershops,” he said plaintively. “Where they give you hot towels for your face.”

“Those are still closed, my friend,” she reminded him as she snipped a few more times around his temples and crown. “Besides, I watched like three whole YouTube videos. It’ll be fine.”

When she was finished, they both stood in front of the mirror staring at the results for several long, silent moments.

“Umm…. I think I have some clippers around here somewhere.”

Presenting Garn’s exclusive quarantine haircut (stay safe and sane, my friends).


  1. Jean De Muzio

    Hi, Great blog! I’ve got another question for you or Garn. Why is it that colors seem more vivid on cloudy or overcast days? Just wondering.

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